IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
