Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
