I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
