All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
