the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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