Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
