Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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