wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The power of my boobs compel you
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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