Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
