ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
