You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
