my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
