i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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