doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
