There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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