I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
