Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
