vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
