There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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