This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
