I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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