there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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