jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
