Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
