Buhtt sex?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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