I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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