jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
