I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
