I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
