Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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