So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
