I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
