you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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