never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
