I am puke
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
