but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
it's like iHOP with fire
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Found your dick twin last night
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
