You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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