Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
17 year olds will be the death of me.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Watching her eat just hurts me
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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