He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
