"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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