It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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