I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
