I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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