that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
