Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
