Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
