the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
