honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Randomize
