I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
