It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
