ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
